Hello Dan,

How’s it going?  More than happy to share a few things that come to mind.

I’d recommend checking out a couple recent reviews that people have asked for here on Unbounce:

/topics/what-are-we-doing-wrong-please-critique-our-squeeze-p…

/topics/any-glaring-reason-for-only-1-conversions-so-far

/topics/new-to-unbounce-struggling-for-conversions

Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that everything below is conjecture and NOT a substitute for A/B testing :-) 

The page looks good!  The headline should probably get your target audience excited, right?

The one’s that truly have a need for what you are solving likely went on to read the subhead looking to learn how they can transform the way that they manage their team.  

Do you think some people may be getting hung up on the subhead?  

Some terminology is used in the subhead like Sharepoint, browser-based collaboration, document management, and Office 365 that may be more focused on the means to transform how they manage their team, more so than what the management transform itself would look like.  

What would this management transformation look like?  What benefits would they experience and pain points will it relieve?

Also did you intentionally choose the size of the light box for your video?  

Are the people that your ads are targeting already fully knowledgeable about what Sharepoint is?

How can Sharepoint help maximize ROI?

Have you considered A/B testing the form fields?  

Have you considered A/B testing the intro banner background?

Keep searching for questions worth looking into and if possible, try to get feedback from your prospects.  Nothing beats someone telling you why they themselves hesitated 🙂

Hope that helps a little bit and wish you all the best!

Regards,

Joe

Hi Joe, thanks for the feedback!

Yes - I agree that the subhead is probably a bit to technical and doesn’t focus on the benefits of the platform. A new sub heading section like this might work better…

‘Microsoft SharePoint is an easy to use platform that enables you to focus on delivering projects on time and with budget.’

Its a brand new landing page, so no A/B testing as the client hasn’t approved that yet as it’s only getting low traffic levels. In terms of Share Point knowledge, I wasn’t sure about the visitor level of understanding so added the video incase they needed to see a practical example. The lightbox video is that big, to make it easy to view on mobile, although I now see  that on the iPhone the player takes over. So it could be made bigger.

Yes - it has helped - thank you, changes to make.

1. Adjust subhead


2. Adjust video lightbox size


3. Feedback, yes I’d like use Hotjar on the page, but I’d need the client to sign off on the spend to do the work! 🙂
   

Thanks again,

Dan 

Glad to hear it, Dan!  Feel free to reach out any time.

Cheers,

Joe

Thanks Joe! 🙂

  I don’t think the video does a good job of contributing to the goal of the page, which I presume is to get people to fill out the form. 

 The form, imo, ought to be above the fold, and I think it would be good to get rid of the number above with “contact us today”- those are two different CTAs, and the main one ought to be the only one; perhaps repeated, but not diluted with a choice of either calling or filling out the form; you need to choose for me; the less choices I have, the better chance I will do the one you really want me to.

 I see that you sort of added the video as an afterthought, “in case they need a practical example”, but for me, the example is totally unbelievable, I thought the whole video was fluff. The story line, once we finally get past the “inspirational” beginning, is of a guy coming up with an idea for a new product line, then apparently an entire team, thanks to this wonderful platform, races ahead with research and development; this is the Hollywood montage version of business, nothing like the real world, just as unbelievable, and no actual details are provided as to how the platform works, beyond the fact that it seems to have graphics tools (analyzing the flight of birds), IM, group chat, and search functions. All of those are already familiar to me, (except the graphics tool) so I don’t know what the USP is; why is this better than what we already have? 

 The first 40 seconds tell us nothing except “history has taught us…�that a group can do more than one person]” paraphrasing obviously. The visitor is free to leave, and I believe needs more than an old, tired, and obvious platitude to keep them from it. It feels like the video intro was made for a child, since every adult knows that old “the group is greater than the sum of its parts” cliche by heart, so it borders on insulting the viewers’ intelligence, and certainly risks boring and losing them, as they get impatient waiting for it to get to the point.   

 I think the video hurts the page in just about every way. It is near the top center, so by implication, is the main focus of the page, yet it doesn’t play automatically, nor even with a single click. In fact, after clicking, it takes for me, 5-10 seconds for the real video to appear, then I have to click again to play it. Trivial? Perhaps, but annoying too, like the first 40 seconds, so my patience is being tried a couple times, and for nearly a full minute; not a great start.

 People are pretty skeptical about a “free consultation”, since they know that often translates to “sales pitch”, so I think they need assurances that this will be a real consultation where they learn more about how the platform can work in their situation, and won’t be pressured, and also we all guard our precious time; putting a time limit on it will probably increase response; worth testing anyway. 

 A call to action like “Have an agent call me to schedule my 15 minute, pressure free consultation”, would address both concerns.

 I hope that wasn’t too long and too much ranting, but it is my honest response to the page, and I hope it was helpful. 

Thanks Greg for your detail response. Definitely food for thought. The client doesn’t want to invest more time into the page, so I’ll file this away and return to it should I get the opportunity to adjust the page.

Cheers!

 No problem; I just hope the client isn’t driving you bonkers by trying to second guess your work every step of the way. Anyway, good luck with them.