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I would love to get your feedback on our landing page. We are most concerned about the language that we are using on the page. Specifically, the first few lines that make the initial sell to the viewer (the first place eyes go). If you would like any more information on what we do to give us better and more accurate guidance, just let me know. 


Here is the link to our page: http://www.notifynearby.com


My primary concern is changing the lines: “See the latest information from over 120 brands in a single app” and “A place where shoppers go to see content from the brands they love!” 


Some ideas I have gotten are to call content the “Inside Scoop” 


I will give you a very high level overview here: We are launching a fashion content app that gives shoppers a single place to browse content being showcased by the retailers they love shopping at. We use beacons technology to drive foot traffic for retailers and engage customers as they are shopping.


Let me know what you think. 

Hi Nevin,


Great idea! I can see this resonating with lots of users.


In terms of the headline and the language at the top, I feel this is probably one for an A/B test. Start with what you have and then create a variation in Unbounce. In the variation try an alternative title. While the headline you have at the moment is descriptive of what the product includes (120 brands), I’d say it’s not that EXCITING! And is the 120 brands really your USP? I’d say having all the info you need about sales and promotions ‘around you’ and at your fingertips is a better value prop for visitors. Something along these lines might grab visitor attention levels.


Also consider if you are advertising what language you will use in your Ads so that you create a good message match between the advert and the landing page headline.


Lastly, I’d say that your headline and subhead are bit small on the page. Try making them larger so the stand out more against the other content on the page.


Overall the video, layout and artwork do nice job of selling your product, I think a stronger headline and sub head work definately improve the page, I’d make these changes.



  1. Remove the links at the bottom of the page or make them smaller.

  2. Either remove ‘related’ videos from your Youtube videos or host with https://wistia.com/

  3. Make the join waiting list input and button larger.


Hope that helps!


Cheers,


Dan

Hi Nevin, 


This would be my feedback: 




  • The main goal is not clear: 

    It seems the primary goal is to download the app but the buttons dont work until you read the small letters “coming soon” If your main goal is to gather emails to notify users then try to offer something in exchange,  such as an early bird coupon discount or beta access to the app. 




  • Benefits are too vague

    Focus in the real final benefit of the app. What problem is it solving for the consumer?  “Changing the Way We Shop” -> “Never miss another promotion”. 




  • Driving while using the app

    The driving part makes the attention go away because it is talking about driving while checking your phone.  




Hope this works! 

Kenji

IMHO, a great tag line would be “Stay up to date with new offers from brands you like”, or simple “Stay up to date with your favourite brands”. The 120, as mentioned by the gentleman above, doesn’t seem to be that good. 


If I were a user, my favourite brands would differ from what you guys consider a good brand. So first thing I’d do is to see if you my brands are part of your list. Maybe include a short list?


All the best - great product!

Thanks a lot for the feedback. I really appreciate it.  Which links are you referring to at the bottom of the page?

This is great! I completely agree with these changes and comments. I will make those changes and update the page. 

Perfect! I did add a list and indicated that there are more than the list on the app. 

Hi Nevin,


These links…


Home   á   Blog   á   Retail CMS   á   Support   á   Jobs


Looking at the visual hierachy of the bottom of this page, you have put more emphasis on the links, than on ‘joining’ the waitlist. As Kenji points out, the main goal of the page isn’t clear currently and I would follow his suggestion.


Other than that! Great work!


Dan

You could also highlight retailers from different categories for extra social proof points 🙂

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