I think the hero section, in particular, still needs work.
While I like that you’re calling out a differentiator, and “the first” is a good phrase, I think it’s still a bit unclear. I’m not sure exactly what a distributed cloud is. More importantly, it doesn’t offer a benefit. Why should users care? What’s in it for them?
I also think that the supporting copy under your headline is a bit dense for a hero section. You only have a few seconds when someone lands on the page to grab them.
I think your Indigogo page does a better job of this. The subhead on that does a nice job of explaining what what’s in it for the customer in specific terms. And the list of features on the video screen grab are larger than they are on your landing page, so they stand out more on the crowdfunding page. There, they stand out and work like bullet points.
Honestly, just taking those elements you could have a more effective hero area. Something like:
Headline: Turn any hard drive into a privacy-first cloud
Subhead: Sync, back up & share files from anywhere, anytime
- No monthly fees
- Privacy by design
- Up to 4TB of storage
- 100% secure back up
- Remote access to files
Call to action: Order Now
Secondary call to action: Learn more ((linking to the sections below))
The messaging is clearly working on your crowdfunding page, so why stray too far from it?
Best of luck.