Looking for Feedback and Support

1: What challenge are you currently trying to solve? Give as much detail as possible
I am designing a Landing page to validate whether a new service is valuable for Small to Medium sized business owners and managers. In the first case I’m looking for feedback on this LP and for support to a. Finish this page and b. Create 2-3 variants.

The problem we are solving is; to help small business owners solve problems with their customer service or experience to help them grow through access to our online community and experienced customer coaching. We’ll be targeting businesses looking to grow, create good service or improve their customer experience.
The purpose of this landing page is to test whether this is interesting to the audience, not to sell. I’ll be creating subsequent offers in the next campaign.

Current Status:
This landing page reflects the core content and proposition, but is simply a dummy template that I used to get the core content down. All images are just placeholders.

A. Initial Support Required:
Migrating content to a proven template
Finishing visual design including providing visual assets
Configuring the CTA’s to capture leads into Google Sheets or similar
Ensure Conversion Goals are setup and traceable
Recommend whether the page should be mobile friendly
Recommend whether adding an additional benefits pane would add value or whether to test in a variant.

B. Secondary Support Needed:
I’m looking for someone to help setup an initial Facebook advertising campaign to test the idea. Including;
Audience Definition
Creating Ads
Ensuring FB and Unbounce are integrated for reporting.
Potentially providing visual assets for temporary Facebook Page.
Support needed to provide 1-2 additional variants and subsequent testing.

2: How are you driving traffic to your page?
Initially, Facebook ads campaign to create traffic. Subsequent tests will be from social content.

3: What is your conversion goal?
To have users click on the Learn More Buttons and Submit their name and email address.

4: Provide a link to your published landing page / convertable:

Thanks in advance

Welcome to the community!

Here are some observations that might help.

I think you asked if it should be mobile friendly. My opinion is that all pages should use responsive design unless there is a good reason not to. These days mobile traffic volume is actually higher than desktop.

Also, I know your design isn’t final, but there are definitely things that need to be tweaked. The margin is really right on the left and some of the text is hard to read, especially at the top. I would use something with more contrast. The CTA at the top gets lost as well. I would make that bigger and use a color that stands out more.

Speaking of the CTA, I’ve never been a big fan of learn more. It’s too generic, kind of boring and not at all urgent. What should I learn more? And what does it even mean? What happens next? Do I get more text to read, a phone call, something else? Is there anything else you can say that is more specific and has an immediate benefit?

The headline is pretty good. It’s got a nice, specific benefit. But the rat of the page doesn’t really pay it off. How does what your offering do what you’re promising? How did you quantify it?

The benefits section has some good messaging, and I would make the specifics stand out even more. Lead with those results rather than the generic benefit.

I would add a colon or ellipsis to the subheads that aren’t a complete thought. It looks like there are words missing.

I don’t think the pricing points have enough context to be effective. It’s not quite clear what you actually get for that investment. Plus, having pricing takes people beyond just learning more. It feels like tou’re trying to close them. There is an implied commitment, which adds friction.

Actually, I think the page could do a better job in general explaining what the service is.

Finally, make sure to give it a good thorough proofread. There are a couple of little typos and grammar issues I saw.

I hope that helps. Best of luck!

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