Landing Page Review - Spot What's Wrong Here


Hey Unbouncers,

Thanks in advance for taking the time to click and read.

Here’s the lowdown:

I’m trying to market a new web design + development business to local small businesses/startups with small-medium budgets that need a new website.
I’ve had a (very) small amount of traffic run through so far with adwords and non paid methods, but zero leads so far. I know that the lander could use some tweaking, but I need an outsiders perspective before optimizing and pushing more traffic through. The page could be too long, or perhaps showing the pricing is just a bad idea. If you could spare a few minutes to review and offer a few points of feedback, it would be very much appreciated.

If I’ve failed to provide any important information, please let me know.



Add some trust badges and some testimonials. Trust me it will help you.
Another great idea is add some social proof such as reviews on facebook, google or any other provider.


Hi Matt,

Good looking page but you are making a few key assumptions that I think, you need to address:

1.) Pick a business vertical and write your page’s copy that speaks directly to that vertical. (ex. create a page dedicated to small businesses and small businesses only, create another one for non-profits, etc.) Most of the page’s content can be the same but key sections need to address pain points for that particular vertical.

  • Unbounce makes it really easy to create a page which you can easily duplicate and change for each vertical. Saving you a ton of time.

2.) Relatively High Value Service - In my experience selling anything above $20-$30 as an impulse purchase is destined for failure. On average, eCommerce stores’s conversion rates hover around 3% and that’s for “cheap” products. The higher your price, the lower your conversion rate would be.

At your current price levels ($1000+), you are pushing cold paid traffic, comprised of visitors who have no relationship with your brand and asking them for a pretty steep purchase.

  • Essentially, you are trying to put the cart before the horse so to speak. Come up with a funnel that would peak the interest of potential clients, move them through said funnel and only then offer them the packages.

  • Education based funnels seem to be popular with internet services. Free initial consultations is another alternative. As well as countless others. I would get on the phone with your current customers and try to figure out what kind of offer would work for similar businesses.

3.) Copywriting - As internet marketers, developers and designers we often forget that the average user doesn’t really “speak” our language. They could care less if their site is on this thing called WordPress, wether they have “S something certificate” or their site is based on an “Industry Standard Design Framework”.

  • At the end of the day they want a website that they like and more importantly a website that magically brings them more business. It’s your job as a developer and consultant to educate them on what all that internet jargon means and how it can help their business.

There are a few other things that you can improve on your landing page but I would start with the above 3.

Best of luck and keep us posted on your progress


Nice looking page :slight_smile:

I think your headline needs to do more… should be the first thing people see when they get to the page, and hugely influences, wether they stay and look further or hit back and look at someone elses site.

Conversion Focused Web Design in Victoria BC for Small Businesses, Professionals, Non-Profits, & More

It’s kind of doing too much almost and as a result not enough. The sales points:

  • Conversion focused
  • Victoria BC - important to local market (i assume this is the target audience)
  • Small Businesses, Professionals, Non-Profits, & More - who its for

Right now its long and rambling, so that it’s not conveying any of these brilliantly (in my opinion).

What about:

Headline: Affordable Conversion Focused Web Design
Subheadline: Bespoke Websites designed throughout to generate you customers!

I would be try tempted to losing the navigation:

  1. This forces people down the route we want them to take
  2. we can put telephone number and address there (ticking the Victoria box)

Just read Hristian’s post and very good suggestions. I started writing this yesterday and it Hristian’s post ties in with a couple of things i was thinking:

Price - a reasonable price but there will be more attractive headline packages. I think this will scare people off and won’t hook others - so some negative with no positive.

Definitely push for a free consultation - we to give them a low commitment hook to get in touch or give us their details. Personally I would put this:

“Get Your Free Consolation Today” - form above the fold.

Again agree with Hristian - bullet point the benefits - what it does for them (rather than the technicalness* (*new word?!) of what you offer).

Below the headline, lose the paragraph and bulletpoint the benefits:

Get online within days - i think for me this would be a seller (letting people know it’s quick)
Affordable professional websites Telling people it doesn’t cost a fortune, but no compromise on quality
Fully Responsive Design to look great on Mobile and Desktop covering both bases here - “Responsive” i think is a trendy word at the moment, which might appeal to some, but look great on Mobile and desktop explains for those who might now understand the jargon
E-Commerce Ready - easy to use system to get you selling in no time!
Industry Leading Content Management Systems - so you can easily keep your site up to date without IT support

I would shorten down the whole site + lose navigation, focus on key “benefits” - what it does for them - what do they want to hear when they are looking for a website.

Add some testimonials as Roman said above and really push the Free Consultation.


Roman, Hristian, and Alex, thank you all so very much for taking the time to analyze my lander and provide such in depth and thoughtful reviews. Your contributions here are golden and this is exactly what I needed to hear. High fives all around.

I’m going to begin implementing the changes today, then unpause the adwords campaign when ready and let it run over the weekend and next week. I may have to increase my $5/day budget so I get more traffic coming through to provide more data. I’ll provide an update when I have some results to report.

Thanks again!



Hey @_matt,

Chiming in late here. @Roman_Delcarmen, @Hristian, and @Alex_Scovell provided some amazing feedback above! I totally agree with it all.

One thing I’ll add is that if you haven’t already done some user testing with current or past clients, that could help big time in situations like this. You’ll want to get their exact words worked into your copy, because they’re going to use terminology and phrases that us as marketers might overlook.

And going back to Hristian’s point about creating “a page dedicated to small businesses and small businesses only, create another one for non-profits, etc.,” this could be very helpful, especially if you’re running AdWords campaigns. You can target your ads based on each vertical, and only show them a dedicated landing page that speaks directly to their unique needs. That would be an easy way to personalize the experience for your visitors, which could increase your conversion rates.


@Nicholas, thanks so much for your input, that’s another great suggestion!


Matt very nice page, quality work, but for me there is too much there. I would scale back the content and focus it to a specific industry, niche, market etc.

If you boiled down your content and honed your targeting to one specific industry you can create multiple variations to easily target other markets. I prefer having multiple sites with each one speaking to a specific audience rather than one site speaking to everyone.

Also, it’s easier and more effective to run ads, optimize, target, create messaging etc. this way. Helps you stand out and speak directly to your target market.

Boiling down your content helps, forces, you to get your message to your audience as fast, direct and as clearly as possible…

I would try and focus content on value delivered (benefits) to your audience. (if you want some ideas message me - I want to keep this post short)

Whatever you do I I would 100% remove pricing - examples of your work, testimonials will help win over prospects.

Hope it helps, good luck.



Such great information Hristian!