Replies posted by Andrew_Mound

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Jim_Wacksman
Jim_Wacksman
posted in Uncategorized

Landing Page Critique

My thoughts: I think your headline + subhead are off.  By themselves, they don’t really tell me what’s on offer. It doesn’t hit because the superlatives/claims (“ultimate”, “must-have”, “increase engagement and revenue”) mean nothing when I have no idea what you’re selling or what’s great about it.  Instead of this: ////////// HL: "The Ultimate Conference Video Package" SH: “Six must-have videos to increase engagement and revenue for only $9900” ////////// How about something like this: ////////// HL:  "Your conference needs video " SH:  “Get 6 custom videos filmed & produced for one low price” ////////// Then, instead of just jumping in to the list of 6 things, maybe an intro to follow up on the headline and subhead.  I’d answer the question why these are must-have in a more macro sense. Needs something to make them want to continue & read those blurbs about the different videos.  Good luck

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8 years ago

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