First off, welcome to the community. Hopefully we can help you start converting some of your traffic.

Overall I think the page needs more clarity, more credibility and a more conversational tone.

Let’s start with the headline. What does it mean? I could guess it means I work with my mental health professionals on my treatment plan or something else. And while the image is visually pleasing, it doesn’t make the message any clearer. People should know within a few seconds what your page is about.

The form doesn’t shed much light either. You see that it’s for an appointment. But for what? Why should someone make an appointment? What happens after submitting the information? If it’s for an appointment, how do I choose the time and day?

The explanation of neurofeedback gives some clues, but even that is too vague. How does self-regulating the nervous system help with anxiety and depression?

Be sure to include specifics to add context and credibility. One of the most effective is a vague claim. How is effectiveness defined or measured, and how does it compare specifically to alternatives? Is there a specific success rate?

Put it in terms your target audience would use in ways that are meaningful to them.

This may be a nit pick, but it’s odd to put behaviors and peak performance under a heading about conditions. Those aren’t conditions.

Those sections are also pretty stiff sounding. Most people don’t talk that way. Use a conversational tone to make it more engaging.

Comparison charts are great, but I don’t think the features you highlight have meaning to the average person.

When you get to the end, there are still too many questions and doubts left. What proof is there that this works? How much does it cost? Is it covered by insurance? What is involved? How quickly can you expect results? What happens if it doesn’t work? Are there risks or side effects? Etc.

Try to image yourself as your prospect. Forget everything your know on the subject that they wouldn’t and go from there.

Best of luck!

@SeanKirby I greatly appreciate your detailed feedback on our landing page. I have taken your comments into consideration and have revised the page accordingly. It would be amazing if you could share what you think of the new version.

Thanks

Harvey

https://landing.elumind.com/neurofeedback

Hey @Elumind!

I’m happy to share some thoughts about your Landing Page, but first let me tell you that the Paid Campaigns that you are running are as important as the Landing Page you are showing. I can check that out for you as well if you want.

So… I’m looking at your Landing Page right now and my first thought is about the CTAs, I believe you should work a little harder on them, give them the exposure they deserve.

I would also try to avoid so much text and work on the bullet points of the “Symptoms of Depression” section.

You can try to add a carrousel for the reviews.

These are all changes in term of design that I can recommend, but always keep in mind that the configuration of the campaign is just as important as the Landing Page.

Let me share some examples of successful Landing Pages we have done:

https://www.6cmarketing.com/previous-work/unbounce/cameo-getbooked/

https://www.6cmarketing.com/previous-work/unbounce/wedding-photographer/

https://www.6cmarketing.com/previous-work/unbounce/city-wonders/

https://www.6cmarketing.com/previous-work/unbounce/fabco-new/

Oh! And another thing is, you claim that you want a 10% conversion rate. That’s a pretty high conversin rate depending on the industry.

I hope you find this information useful.

Cheers!

Ariel.

Sorry for the delay. I wanted to make sure I could give this the time and attention it deserves before responding and finally got a good block of time today.

Without knowing your keyword strategy, I wonder if your headline is right for the messaging. I could just be me, but “Regain mental health” makes me think of more serious issues than stress, anxiety and focus. It may be a good idea to test a couple of options.

Actually, I’d probably try creating different ads and pages focusing specifically on each of the use cases and see how it compares to this more general page.

I noticed sone grammatical errors, such as “the activity electrical activity” in the first paragraph below the hero area. You should get someone to give it a good, thorough proofread for that and also phrasing that’s a bit awkward.

I like that you offer a bit of education on what you’re offering and how it can help, but the tone is a little stiff. See if you can convey it in a more conversational way.

Last, but not least, I think you need to sell the offer more. Why should someone request an appointment? What can they expect when they do? How much will it cost? Etc. Try to remove any reason they shouldn’t convert. Eliminate potential doubts, fears and uncertainty and make it easy to act.

I hope that helps. Best of luck!