First off, I like the overall look of the page, and love even more what you do.
Right off the bat users are it with a whole lot of text, and i find the text hard to read.
I don’t understand how the ‘help with a donation’ section image applies to the page. That confused me a little bit.
Clicking on the Learn More links take me off the page, which is against best practices. It could also be me, but the new website took forever to load.
There are two CTAs in the hero, I am unsure what I am supposed to do.
Honestly though, design wise the page is good, just a whole lot of text that I really don’t want to read.
Hi @lukeyconrad27!
What a great cause!
@jbragg made some good points.
I would like to add some additional feedback…
The first, and largest item that jumps out at me is that this is designed more like a webpage. There are a ton of external links that drive a person away from your goal. I would remove the whole main navigation with maybe the exception of anchor links to ‘Refer’, ‘Donate’, ‘Wishes Granted’. Right now it is easy for the user to get distracted.
Move the form towards the top (make sure to test this)
Add a favicon to your page - I see you have one for the main site, but adding it to your page is a quick way to add trust.
Create a phone number specifically for these campaigns, or for individual pages to get an idea how many people are calling you from the page (I noticed this was the same phone number as the one on the main site).
You may even want to create different pages for different campaigns - for example, one for donations and one for referrals so that you can message match a little bit and it narrows down what the user needs to do.
Maybe use the word, “Nominate” instead of “Refer” - something a little friendlier.
Again, you’re off to a good start and it’s better to start with more and narrow it down. If you are looking for more assistance, please feel free to message me directly and we can talk about your page in more detail!
Enjoy 🙂
Hi Luke,
Great cause! Some thoughts regarding the page below:
(Note: Writing this after I finished everything below. Thanks for what you do guys. If you need any further help or commenting after, feel free to reach out to me.)
Overall:
Would remove the top navigation. This way you direct the attention to your goal, and I don’t have to spend a lot of energy on trying to find out where to look.
There’s a lot of links leading away from the page. I would evaluate whether they are needed, and if they are then have them open in a new tab.
I’m a bit confused as to which CTA you would like as your primary. The top is asking for referrals, but there’s 3 sections devoted to Donations.
My advice here is to choose 1, and stick with that as your primary both in the header and along the page, then “dipping” into the other two rather than giving them prominent displays.
Copy:
There is a lot of text on this page, and a lot could be removed or minimized since they essentially say the same. For example these two are in the header and with a bit of tweaking the last one could be removed: “Do you know someone who deserves to be granted a wish?” and “If You Know A Child or Young Person Who Deserves A Wish, You Can Refer Them Here”
GREAT headline! I would echo that all the way throughout the page by changing from what you want, to what you offer people.
Example: “It is our aim to bring a touch of happiness, however brief, into the lives of wish children.” could also be “Would you like to help us bring a touch of happiness, into the lives of wish children?”. It’s an emotional driver and includes something that brings me joy as well.
Sections:
Id’ run tests where I substituted a bit of the sections with wish-stories instead of donations.
Would remake the about us section with pictures of people, and headlines rather than textblocks.
Would remove the social media logos and add them on the “thank you page” instead.
Form:
The button CTA I would test a few instead of enquire. Off the top of my head: “Change a life” / “Let’s talk” / “Grant a wish” etc.
Remove the e-mail field or tell me why you need it so I’m comfortable with giving it, since Cathy is going to call me anyway.
Best
Andreas Obel
You’re missing the boat. The headline and supporting body copy above the fold are do not make it clear that you are talking about granting wishes for kids and young people who are suffering from a life threatening illness. You only learn this by scrolling down.
Make up your mind - is this a donation page or a referral page. It needs to be one or the other. You can alway link to the other page near the bottom “learn how you can make a referral” link for example.
Font choice for the body copy is difficult to read, as others have pointed out.
Clicking on the learn more button takes you to a pretty poorly designed page. I honestly have no clue what to do there.
Way to much white text on the blue portion of the page.
Good luck!
