Would love to hear some feedback on my first LP 🙏

1: What challenge are you currently trying to solve? Give as much detail as possible
Conversion Rate


2: How are you driving traffic to your page?
Social, Google Display, Email Marketing


3: What is your conversion goal?
Book a demo


4: Provide a link to your published landing page / convertable:
https://discover.risepeople.com/bring-life-to-work/

I think the design throughout the page is really good but I think all of the messaging is off.

After reading the headline I was a bit confused about what the page was about. Maybe make it more specific, what will I get from using this service?

The sub headline starts out as a call to action, then proceeds to tell me what the page is really about. HR software.

I thought the audio was cool, but after listening to it, his voice seems unnatural, just a tad robotic and there are two very long pauses that break up the script. Also, the script doesn’t mention anything about how your product is going to better my life. Basically, just….imagine this great life, imagine everything is fantastic, now buy our product.

When it comes to the form copy, it’s the same as the headline vague and confusing. Discover is a powerful word, but you need to be clear about your value proposition.

The copy at the bottom of the page does the best job at describing the product.

Also, consider adding some social proof, such as a testimonial.

Don’t be discouraged, the design is good and overall it’s way better than my first landing page. Maybe check out some of the resources at https://copyhackers.com

Josh, thank you very much for the detailed and valuable feedback! I highly appreciate your time and effort. And I agree about the messaging.