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Need Feedback On A 'Will Writing' service Landing Page

Cameron_R
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1: What challenge are you currently trying to solve?

Currently we are struggling with conversions. I have my own ideas of why this LP is not converting but would like to see what other people think.

We also use this same sort of template for a couple of other clients so any overall feedback on it would be great.

2: How are you driving traffic to your page?

Paid Traffic

3: What is your conversion goal?

15-20%

4: Paste a link to your published landing page / popup: 👇 http://unbouncepages.com/will-writing-123test/

(I have copied the page and removed the client logo etc for obvious reasons, but part from that it is the same)

Thanks

5 replies

Ed_Stanfield
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Quick observations.

I don’t see how the hero background image relates to the service.

One of the UK’s #1 Will Writing Company (this feels like awkward phrasing for a headline)

The sub-heading about “forward thinking”: That does not feel like a significant selling point.

The bullet points need to be more succinct; for example, the first one could just be “Reduce Inheritance Taxes”

Kyle.C
Userlevel 5

Hi @Cameron_R

I think the layout, font, and form are the three good things about this landing page. I suggest thinking about the reasons why someone needs a will, and then describe how this service will solve that need.

The whole page just seems to describe a trustworthy service and not how it can actually help someone plan for the security of their future and help the lives of those they care about.

julien_level
Userlevel 5
Badge +4

Hello,

I agree with the previous comments. Maybe the LP lack some “heart” if you know what i mean.
This is quite a sensitive subject and it should feel warmer, have more human on the page.

The big titles should not be about the company but the value you offer to your client.
Then somewhere else you can say that the company is great, etc.

Also you could take the content from the FAQ and expand it as this is the most interesting stuff for me (i’m not really aware of the will market).

Julien
Adam_Smartschan
Badge +3

Agree with a lot of what’s been posted already. The format is really nice. The content could use a once-over. It’s all about the will writing company. That’s great – they’re your client. But we’re speaking entirely in their terms. They might call it a quote; I want a quote on a new car, not something that speaks directly to me or my wife dying.

The bullet points in the hero are spot on, though maybe a bit out of order. Pull the heartstrings, and focus on your audience. Perhaps you need two versions – one for high-net-worth individuals (who will worry about inheritance tax), and another targeted at slobs like me (who just want to make sure my kids don’t starve).

Lots to like here. You’ve hit the mark on social proof and format. But the tone feels a bit cold.**

Kyle.C
Userlevel 5

A wise copywriter once said…

“Don’t think like a marketer. Think like a user.”

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