LP Feedback Bakery Equipment Page

1: What challenge are you currently trying to solve?
Increase click through rate to form submission page

2: How are you driving traffic to your page?
Facebook Ads Campaign - newsfeed

3: What is your conversion goal?

4: Paste a link to your published landing page / popup: :point_down:


Hey everyone,

New to landing page creation - any and all feedback welcome!

Hi @Bant_Flash

This page has all things needed to get conversions, but since you use a second page to complete the form. That means we can really narrow down the basics of what needs to be said on this first page. Here are my reactions:

:one: Add more height to the header section (750px), and use the bread image from the other section (or a similar image) as the background.

:two: If you don’t have one already, make another variant with the image of the machine in the header as well. Image on the left and text/button on the right.

:three: Simplify the point you need to make with your headline copy. Here are some ideas I think might work better.
Save Time and Over $30,000 A Year With This Moulder
Stop Rolling Dough by Hand and Start Saving Time and Money
Get The Speed and Quality of a Professional Bakery

:four: Change the subtitle based on the CTA button. I’m thinking of…
See how Jeff’s Bakeshop and other bakeries did it.
Then the button… Download the Guide -->

Hope that helps!

Hey Kyle,

Thank you very much for the detailed response! I’ll aim to implement going forward.

Have a great day!

Welcome to the community. I took a look at your page and have a few thoughts.

  1. It’s a but confusing, because it seems to switch back and forth between offering a guide and selling the product. It’s better to focus on one thing.If it’s the guide, then focus just on that. Include an image, tease some of the contents of it, and make it clear how they will benefit from that information.

If the goal is more in line with your final CTA and learn more about the product, then lead with the benefits and save the guide for follow-up.

When deciding on the offer, it makes sense to think about the stage of the buyer’s journey these people are in. Are they actively seeking a solution to the problem you’re solving? Have they explored alternatives? Are they familiar with your solution? Etc.

  1. The hero area is pretty bland. Making a page pretty isn’t the top priority, but if it looks too dull, many people won’t bother reading further. I’d try to add some visual interest and/or additional white space. It would also be good to have something to visually draw people in, especially when they first land on the page.

You could also tighten the copy up in that section, which might help make it less intimidating. For instance, you could shorten the headline to “How Jeff’s Bakeshop Saved $33,600 A Year”

  1. Some of the text is a bit hard to read. I recommend using colors with more contrast, particularly on the button text and in the hero area. I would also consider losing the initial caps on the subheads, especially when they are lengthy. And you may want to bump up the size of the body font a bit.

Hope that helps.

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