Looking for feedback on a proof of concept product page

1: What challenge are you currently trying to solve?

Trying to gauge demand for a niche product in the beauty sector - client doesn’t want to go full on e-commerce at the moment. Also won’t invest in better photography at this stage so am having to work with what I have!

2: How are you driving traffic to your page?

Offline promotion and for the last few days Google PPC

3: What is your conversion goal?

Form Submission - Enquiries that may lead to pre-orders.

4: Paste a link to your published landing page / popup: :point_down:


I can appreciate the challenge, and unfortunately, I think it’s a bit noticeable in the lack of a clear offer.

As a visitor I’m not clear on what it is I’m supposed to do here, You mention buying and give prices, but don’t give a way to order. You also mention enquiring, but don”t give a reason to. What’s the benefit of it? What will I learn? What specifically am I even asking for?

I would think about what you’re trying to accomplish and what the path to accomplish that looks like, and use that to create a compelling offer. Maybe it”s reserving their towels so they can be among the first to get them when they are produced. Or maybe they can be part of an advisory board whose feedback will help shape the direction of the product. Those are just off the top of my head without any background I to the product or target market. I’m sure you can come up with something better.

Here are some additional suggestions:

I would add a benefit to the headline/subhead combo at the top. What’s there now says what it is the page is about, which is good, but why should they care? What’s in it for them?

Where you do introduce the benefits, I would try to ad more energy and excitement to the copy. Instead of just starting the benefit, see if you can strike an emotional chord or paint a picture of how it will make things better, easier, etc.

Reading through the page, it appears that this is a b-to-b promotion. That doesn’t immediately come across though. Maybe you could test caking out your audience at the top.

The quote seems a bit misleading. It appears to be from the owner of the business selling the product, but it looks like a testimonial. It gives the impression that you’re trying to deceive the reader. It would be better to make it clear upfront that the quote is from the seller (without looking like a testimonial), replace it with a real testimonial or delete it all together.

Be careful with inserting hard line breaks. I’m looking at it on mobile and there are some awkward widows.

Also, the form field labels are hard to read. I would use colors that give more contrast.

Hope that helps. Best of luck!