Landing page feedback?


I’d love some feedback on a new landing page I’ve been working on - I’m new to unbounce and landing page design in general, but in a really competitive/expensive industry, so feel free to rip this apart - this is sort of a trial by fire for me so I need to accelerate the learning curve.

Quick overview: I’m doing lead gen for car accident attorneys. I put together a pretty comprehensive PPC strategy and I’m getting decent click numbers/CTR on that end of things, but my last few landing pages haven’t been converting well at all (2%-3%). So I just built this one out based on what one of the top competitors in the industry sends all their PPC traffic to:

Any thoughts on how I can improve it? Ideas for split tests to run, etc?

Thanks in advance!



First off… there is no “ripping” needed. It is a good page, are there places to improve it… always, just ask Oli :wink:

Let’s start with low hanging fruit. You aren’t showing a mobile version! That one is huge, especially in the law vertical. I have done work for medical malpractice lawyers and the desktop vs. mobile traffic numbers are staggeringly slanted towards mobile.  If you are sending adwords traffic to this page set  up the phone number with call tracking. That link will show you how to do it, its super easy.

The next part is a little harder as we don’t know what the ads look like. Assuming you are using some variation of the headline “Injured In A Car Accident? See What Your Claim Is Worth Now!” that needs to be featured prominently. There is no headline on the page at a quick glance and you could end up with poor message match and low conversion rates.

For a split test I would go with a form first design approach. Move the check boxes into the form and add a little explanation about what happens next after you fill out the form. You can also a/b test a single form vs the 2 step version you have now.

Now that you have some room on the left side above the fold you can bring up the info about common injuries etc. 

Lastly, 2-3% conversion rates are not “bad” if one of those conversions is worth 100k. 

Good luck! Show us the next version when you are ready.


Hi Jason,

Welcome to Unbounce! It’s the friendliest community on the internet, guaranteed :slight_smile:

I have some experience with customers in your field. Extremely competitive & expensive, but if done effectively, can yield a very strong ROI.

Keep in mind, conversion results aren’t _always _because of poor landing page design. Poor quality traffic is often the culprit. Understanding how to build an effective AdWords campaign can be very tricky, but not impossible.

In regards to the landing page, here are some quick suggestions:

  1. Agreed with @Joe, mobile is crucial.

  2. Take a look at this free e-book from Unbounce: The 23 Principles of Attention-Driven Design. Try to apply some of these design principles. 

  3. Consider breaking up your text into panels. A large majority of online viewers skim through text. I like to make sure my pages are _skim friendly _by using strong H1 copy followed by sub-copy. 

  4. There is no right or wrong variable to test. As long as you are disciplined in your testing, by testing one variable at a time, and allowing enough data to pour in, you should be good! 

Lastly, your PPC could also be the culprit. Keep a close eye on your search terms to ensure that the traffic is of high quality.

If you have any other Qs, feel free to fire them away!

Best of luck,

Stefano Apostolakos


Thanks for the feedback guys!

I am running mobile ads, and I should have included them in the original post, but i thought everyone would be looking at the page on a desktop so I didn’t… I had troubles with making mobile versions of the same page (when I moved things it would mess with the desktop version so I just built it out on a separate page and used that as the target URL on my mobile ads), so here is the mobile versions I have so far: (new design based on the one you’re currently seeing) mobile page based on a design a freelancer I hired did for me - wasn’t converting very well either)

Thoughts on which looks better and/or elements to change would be much appreciated. 

I changed the headline to make it centered and larger, so hopefully it’ll be more prominent, let me know your thoughts:

As far as conversion rates - Joe, if I was getting $100k per conversion I’d be doing backflips over 2%! Unfortunately, we’re selling the leads, not trying the cases, so we’re only getting $150ish per lead.

Stefano, I agree on the keywords/traffic largely being the culprit here, which brings up my current problem - a lot of the good keywords (i.e. car accident attorneys) have first page bid estimates of $20-$30 per click. Currently I am averaging about $3/click, but a lot of it is long tail, informational keywords, and even the impressions I do get for the higher priced keywords don’t get clicked much because I am way down in page position. The clicks that have happened haven’t been converting, but on the new design there’s only been about 20-30 of them, so probably too small a sample size to make a determination.

I can probably get decent variations on google for $10-$15 per click and $8-$10 on bing, but even then I need to convert at 10% to make this viable. However I want to get the page as dialed in as possible before I raise bids and start paying that kind of money for clicks, because it could add up quick and I’m afraid if I don’t convert I will lose a ton of money.

Any thoughts on how I tackle this problem?




Should have also mentioned, I am tracking calls, but not getting any. Also running call extensions and call only ads on google, but the phone isn’t ringing.



Are you familiar with Talia from ? She talks a lot about emotional triggers and using psychological targeting.  I bring her up because the site feels very cold. If you are hurt, and you need help maybe the page needs a softer touch?

The version of the page that had the person in the background crouched down spoke to me. It said, I feel that way too. Instead of finding out how much the case is worth why not ask how much is your peace of mind worth? How much is your families comfort worth?

Something that Unbounce doesn’t do a great job of when you get started is using the control key. The control key is your BFF when editing mobile pages. If you hold down said key, you don’t effect the item on the desktop page.  I typically get the desktop page dialed in and approved then go do my mobile edits. 

This is a tough vertical on AdWords, it doesn’t surprise me that your clicks are so high. Firms pour thousands of dollars in knowing that a case can be worth 100K plus. Find a way to stand out from the big guys. I used odd headlines that stood out like “Never Saw The Truck” and things like that. Anything to be eye catching.

Have you considered using Facebook advertising? The cost basis should be much lower, and the landing page would still be absolutely necessary/relevant.

As for the new headline it is better, but you could go bigger still. And as Stefano said, try buckets for content (I use boxes in the lp editor) it will help skimmers and scanners.

You are on the right track!



Also, try using for some testing. Great tool. Oli did a blog post on it and had a great worksheet in google docs. Though I can’t find it right now… It’s a great tool and it can be “free” if you want to keep it small scale.


Totally agree with this comment. Initial instinct was the LP was cold. Missing that human touch!


Hey Jason,

This is a tough one. I’ve seen business models like these do very well both through organic & PPC channels. Although, it could be tough, because you have the service provider (Lawyers) that you are directly competing with.

I would consider dipping into other channels to take advantage of lower CPCs, but my instinct is this may be tough for you to target these profiles on social. If you are willing to test, give Facebook & Twitter a shot. Not entirely sure that Google Display Network would work here, but I would give it a shot?

Are you running remarketing campaigns? Not everyone converts on the first visit. I would make sure to set that up too. 


We did try FB and Twitter ads first - cheap traffic but zero conversions… I think largely because we couldn’t target effectively.

As to the human touch/landing page, we’ve been running a variety of landing pages with that crouched image in the background, but were getting nothing. For reference, here’s a few variations. First, we tried running all keywords/ads to the generic page (auto-accident-settlements), then when that didn’t work, I tweaked the design a bit so the form was above the fold, and then added content that was closely tied to the keyword/ad copy, hoping that would help quality score and conversion rates.

Here’s the generic original, built by a guy we hired that didn’t work out for various reasons:

Below is a variation I built off that (my first), that was intended to give content since we were bidding on a lot of long tail, informational keywords. My hope was by giving info and then trying to funnel that into why they needed to talk to a lawyer, I’d convert better and get a better QS due to more relevant content, but that didn’t seem to work either: (I built a few of these around search terms that we were bidding on - rear ended, settlement questions, can I sue, etc - literally 0 conversions in our first 100 visitors, so I went away from that)

The lack of conversions on the above is what prompted me to see what the most successful lead gen company had going (my assumption is they’ve been at it for 15 years, they’ve probably done a fair share of testing and arrived at that design for a reason) - here is that page:

And that is where we are at right now. I will definitely look into and the suggestions above, love the one about “Never Saw The Truck” - thank you! Any other feedback as to why my old pages failed, or how to make the current one better before I start to scale up my bids are very much appreciated. I’m putting in a ton of work on this and need to start seeing results asap. This is very helpful. 




Hi Jason, 

All excellent pointers so far but I thought I chime in too:

  1. Your competitors are using VWO on the page you’ve provided as an example so they are most likely running tests on it too. 

  2. Never assume a page is working just because someone else is using it. You don’t know their targeting, keywords or what tests are currently on. 

  3. Put some heatmaping/recordings tracking like Hotjar to get a better idea of what the visitors are doing on your page(s). 

  4. Your mobile and desktop versions differ in terms of form fields so try to minimize the differences as much as possible. Otherwise, you’ll end up comparing Apples to Oranges. 

  5. Have you tried the dynamic keyword insertion Unbounce offers?

  6. I’m sorry to say this but the /whiplash-feeback/ gave me a whiplash of all the text on it. 

  7. Test removing the optional/non-required fields from the form

7.1 Also, make sure you are running form field validation for fields like zip code. 

  1. You are doing a good job of separating the form into 2 steps. Test more variations with gradual engagement. 

Keep us posted on your progress. 



Thanks for all the feedback guys. Over the weekend I read a few of the unbounce ebooks and watched a few videos, and my plan is to make a few subtle changes to the current design based on some of the suggestions here and in those tutorials, then implement the hotjar heatmap, run the ads this week and check out the results on Friday. Dynamic keyword text is my next project, but I am starting to run into a bit of information overload and have to be careful not get overwhelmed.


Great! I look forward to seeing the results. Take it 1 step at a time. We’re all here for support should you need it.