First of all, it’s great that you are doing this! Landing pages can be so helpful to get you new business, if they are marketed and advertised correctly. I would point out that Jewelry is typically spelled “jewelry” in North America, rather than “Jewellery” as they do in the UK…(UPDATE: I now see that you are in Canada, perhaps I spoke too soon, they must use the UK spelling there. Your other typo is in point #1, " thorugh" instead of “through”). In my experience, even ONE typo will reduce your CTR (click through rate) to just about 0. It does also look a bit cluttered, but I think it is a nice start. I would try to use less words to get my point across as well. Also, the buttons you used look a bit flat, and one of your images isn’t quite formatted right…the one with the ring and the pink flowers on the right side of the page is cutoff a bit). Also, Susan’s testimonial needs punctuation. If you would like, my firm can make you a professional Unbounce page with a high click through rate, just email me for a quote. We start at just $399 for lead generation landing pages like the one you are looking to make with guaranteed results. email@example.com.