Feedback on Jewellery and Engagement Ring Marketing page please


#1

Hi Everyone!

I am pretty new to this and am using unbounce to market diamond jewellery such as engagement rings. I have created a few pages and tried my best to make them to the format as described in all of unbounces free content. I was hoping I could get some feedback on my page. Heres one of them http://try.omori.ca/customengagement/ feel free to be fully honest. Does it look to cluttered? Do you think my outward link to my engagement ring section on my full website is too much?

Any feedback would be very appreciated. Thanks very Much!


#2

First of all, it’s great that you are doing this!  Landing pages can be so helpful to get you new business, if they are marketed and advertised correctly.  I would point out that Jewelry is typically spelled “jewelry” in North America, rather than “Jewellery” as they do in the UK…(UPDATE: I now see that you are in Canada, perhaps I spoke too soon, they must use the UK spelling there.  Your other typo is in point #1, " thorugh" instead of “through”).   In my experience, even ONE typo will reduce your CTR (click through rate) to just about 0.  It does also look a bit cluttered, but I think it is a nice start.  I would try to use less words to get my point across as well.  Also, the buttons you used look a bit flat, and one of your images isn’t quite formatted right…the one with the ring and the pink flowers on the right side of the page is cutoff a bit).  Also, Susan’s testimonial needs punctuation. If you would like, my firm can make you a professional Unbounce page with a high click through rate, just email me for a quote.  We start at just $399 for lead generation landing pages like the one you are looking to make with guaranteed results.  jenn@velocitymarketingllc.com.  


#3

Hi Jim,

Welcome to the world of Unbounce! Your page if off to a nice start, especially for being new to this. Here are some constructive points of feedback you might find useful:

  1. The most important thing about a landing page is that is has a single call to action. I don’t see one on your page. I have multiple options, to call, contact, view more designs, etc. What is the main thing you want people to do? Everything else about the page will be crafted around that.

  2. The video at the bottom is amazing. That to me explains your business better than anything else on the page. I would feature that video big and bold at the top of the page, above the fold. Once people see your jewelry come to life, they will be pulled in.

  3. Right now, the area above the fold is taken up by your logo, phone number, and address. On my 13" MacBook screen, I don’t even see most of the image of the ring that is below it. I would try to reduce the text and logo elements in the header area, and replace it with the video, and a nice bold headline that tells people exactly what you do.

Here’s a very rough concept of what it could look like…

Best of luck and let me know if you have any other questions. Always glad to help.


#4

Thanks very much to both of you. I have tried to make some adjustments and republished the page here http://try.omori.ca/customengagement/

Please let me know what you think! Also any one else who has suggestions, please feel free to offer any advice!